5 OUTRAGEOUS Things We Bet You Never Knew About Ma5turbation

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Let the climaxing begin!

According to my mother, women don’t Ma5turbate. The fact that I do, and she knows this because she reads what I write and I don’t find the need to keep quiet about the subject, is not only upsetting to her but further proof that I “act like a man” (a phrase both she and my father have used to describe me on several occasions). My father actually regards it as a compliment, while my mother is hoping her words will kick some sort of conventional ideas of how a lady should act into my brain.

No such luck yet, mom.

Despite my mother’s thoughts on the subject, women do Ma5turbate. In fact, a lot of them do — and do it often, and it’s pleasurable and makes for a better S3x life. If you know how to get yourself off, then S3x with someone else is that much more satisfying because you’re confident with yourself and know your body.

Here are five things that you perhaps didn’t know about Ma5turbation. Hopefully these facts will make some of you more open to the subject. Let the climaxing begin!

1. People who have S3x regularly Ma5turbate more than those who don’t.

Weird, right? Well, not really. If you Ma5turbate, you’re more likely to be S3xually open, and therefore, you know, have S3x. Also, as I said above, if you know what you like when you’re solo, it will enhance your S3xual experience with your partner.

2. More women Ma5turbate than are willing to admit.

Actually, this fact shouldn’t be very shocking, but perhaps the percentages will astonish you. Most teenagers are already going at it with themselves: Surveys show that before both genders have reached 18, 80 percent of males and 59 percent of females have given Ma5turbation a whirl.

As far as people over 18, the numbers get a bit shady. Some research shows that as many as 92 percent of women “admit” to it, while surveys from Kinsey put that percentage anywhere between 50 and 70.

3. Older women Ma5turbate, too.

Your S3x drive just gets more revved up as you get older. A 2010 Kinsey study found that roughly 30 percent of women in relationships between 60 and 69 years of age had “recently” double-clicked their mouse. For those over 70, “solo Ma5turbation was reported by more than half who were in a non-cohabitating relationship, compared to 12.2 percent among married women.”

4. Some countries (though obviously not the prudish U.S.!) encourage daily Ma5turbation for their teenage population.

In 2009, the U.K. government got on the bandwagon with other European nations to encourage teenagers to Ma5turbate at least once a day. Not only was Ma5turbating defined as a “right” in health pamphlets, but it was also touted as helping to reduce STDs and teen pregnancy. Smart thinking!

5. Ma5turbation wasn’t always taboo.

Why do we love the early Romans? Because they were open about their S3xuality! Even as early as the 4th millennium BC, a clay figurine depicted a woman touching herself, and obviously enjoying it. All was great until the early 1700’s when an anonymous pamphlet titled Onania was published and put an end to all the fun.

Calling Ma5turbation a “heinous sin” of “self-pollution,” and depicting archaic devices to prevent this “pollution,” it gave Ma5turbation a bad rap for centuries to come (no pun intended). This mentality continued through the 16th and 17th century, when those who did Ma5turbate were regarded as mentally ill. Over 60 percent of mental and physical illnesses were blamed on Ma5turbation.

Although the 1960s helped turn around some of these ancient views, for some, especially those who are fiercely religious or are my mother, Ma5turbation will never be acceptable. Hey, your loss. So go ahead and touch yourself; you’ll make the Divinyls proud.

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