It is a message for the women and not the men because I think the men no matter how much we want to fight it and argue, as a woman you are the one who will get pregnant and you are the one that will be holding the child. He will easily just go and come back whenever he feels like. He will not have to be there because that is just how it is. You see when the men are telling you that this is how a married woman should behave it is because they know that either way, whether you like it or not, it is going to happen. His life goes on the way he wants, yours will take a considerable shift and you will not realize it until the moment the kids come in.
Travel as much as you want and visit as many places as you can go
Because the reality is, the moment you get kids, the budget increases if you feel generous enough to want to include them. But see, when you are single, you can just wake up today or tomorrow as long as work allows and go someplace; come back by Sunday evening or even just travel directly to work on Monday. When you are married and kids are involved you have to prep them, then look for them, then remind them and still pack for them too. Let us not even talk about the husbands but blessed are the women who have men who are willing to help them out when the occasion calls for it. On the other hemisphere is where the majority of the men reside, you also need to remind him, organize him, look for him again, twice and remind him again and pack for him as well. He will also complain that what you packed is not what he likes.
Enjoy being on your own and don’t look for that happiness with other people, waiting for them to clear their schedule so that you can do something. You will at least be able to look back and remember how much easier it was to travel on your own.
Be a little selfish and just do what you want
For a lot of women we get caught up trying to please and take care of everybody else. We forget about ourselves. We can’t even go for a spa without thinking about who needs what. By all means, be generous but do not forget yourself. Enjoy this time you have with no responsibility other than your parents or sending them credit because the time will come where your ungrateful kids will think you did not buy them the cereal they like or they ate too much Ugali last week-on your paycheck. You will not have spa time or Pedi-time or be able to buy yourself breakfast without feeling guilty because they are left drinking tea and bread.
Go out and party
Come home as late as you want because when you decide you want to settle down and have a husband, no matter how urban he seems, he will still ask you, ‘Isn’t it time we went home?’ At 10pm and you will not say no because you might have kids. Another scenario is you get pregnant, do you think you will have time to jump around in clubs? My advice has always been, get it out of your system while you are alone now so that you are not that crazy mum struggling in glittery mini-skirts trying to be young again.
Don’t let your single life end in vain because you were too afraid or too worried because trust me, most peoples say they are fulfilled then they bring their resentment to their own homes. They say their husbands are turning out not to be what they wanted but that is just bitterness because you based your fulfillment and satisfaction on him. It is none of his business what you did on your own just as what he did is none of yours and that is why men have an easier time after the wedding day than the women. The women expect more of him while he is just the same-doing him or whatever. She ends up lost looking for advise form women which in most cases ruins the marriage because she is running around trying to fill that void.